I want to recommend some websites that I’ve found helpful in my personal growth.
I spent 4 hours this weekend reading old posts from these sites. While both contain deep, thought-provoking content, this particular post struck a chord with me. It talks about inner confidence versus ego confidence. Inner confidence comes from within and ego confidence comes from money, status, etc. Things that could disappear in the blink of an eye.
If you play the Ego confidence game of life you will ultimately lose.
As much as I hate to admit it, most of my confidence was ego confidence in the early days of my career. When we had a round of layoffs, I remember thinking what it’d be like if I were to get laid off. This prompted very dark thoughts. Like end of the world dark. I figured no one would date me or respect me unless I had this job, degree, money, etc. When I came to my senses (a few months later), I realized that this is just a job. It does not define who I am. The amount of money I make does not define who I am. That was my mantra for a while, in an attempt to dissociate my identity from my job.
The converse is true too. Don’t let your lack of confidence be driven by your work situation or debt. If you’re a recent graduate who can’t find a job or someone who got laid off, don’t let your current situation affect your sense of who you are. Build your inner confidence and you will find success and happiness.
Only when you’ve found your inner confidence, can you step back and reevaluate your life and take positive steps to lead a happier life. If your job makes you unhappy, then not being tied to it mentally will make it easier to leave.
I’m doing much better nowadays. While I still have some ego confidence (it’s hard not to as a big firm associate), it’s balanced out by plenty of inner confidence. 🙂