Just venting a little. As “seasoned” as I am as a big firm attorney, it really does not take much for me to want to head for the hills and escape it all. Even a few months ago, I was still enjoying the calm breeze of summer litigation. Things have only ratcheted up so-oh-little, and I’m already wanting to quit. The stock market is not helping much, as our net worth has been falling day-to-day instead of creeping upwards towards a yet-to-be-defined target. Anyways, I’ve been kind of a wimp lately.
At these times, I start to feel reckless. Years ago, when I was first getting into the FIRE game, I set my target at $750K ($30K a year at 4%). We’ve blown past that, and looking back, I can’t believe I was so desperate and willing to compromise my future quality of life. It took another few years to get to $750K and a few more years to get to where we are now with an additional $650K which I can’t imagine foregoing in exchange for not having to work during those years. Just seems irresponsible. But now, I am having the same feelings as I did a few years ago — like FIRE can’t come sooner. And I feel like I’m willing to cut significant corners to get there. The rational part of my brain is telling me NO!, but it’s getting drowned out.
Perhaps all of this teaches me an important lesson about myself. When I’m in a stable state of mind, I make very deliberate decisions, unwilling to drop our standard of living or ignore likely expenses to achieve an earlier FIRE date. When I’m feeling despair (even if it’s a passing feeling), then I’m often willing to take gambles that I know I might regret in the future.